Author: Jay-Ram

Hello. My name is Jay-Ram (Jay-ROM) and I'm an Indian-American who's been a pharmaceutical chemist and writer for many years. My fascination with science began as a nine year-old watching shows like "Bill-Nye The Science Guy" and "The Magic School Bus." Having a scientifically inclined thinking allows me to unconventional solutions to problems, which allowed me to help friends and colleagues. I believe that the spirit of science is to find truth and help others; as the great scientist and philosopher Carl Sagan once said, “Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality.”

Weekly Q&A: How Do I Stop Procrastinating??

~ Jay-Ram ~ 4 Comments

This week’s anonymous question was submitted by luvalaf. If you’d like to submit a question, you can find the page here.

Chemistry or Cute Animals? The Struggle Is Real.
Chemistry Exams Or Cute Animals? The Struggle Is Real.

A: What makes procrastination so difficult is that most of us would rather do nothing than work. NOTHING! Now add in cat videos on YouTube, checking Groupon deals in email, and a myriad of other social media options and it seems like all hope is lost. But, the important thing to remember is that procrastination is a habit, and habits are difficult yet very possible to change, and all change begins from within. Make the commitment to yourself to improve your life, and make small adjustments daily and good things will follow. Why not start today? 😉

Weekly Q&A: What Is The Best Way To Enjoy Stinky Tofu?

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This week’s question comes from Foodie411. If you enjoy reading, ask an anonymous question here!

Q: What is the best way to enjoy stinky tofu? And what does it smell like?

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Stinky tofu is usually sold in open-air night markets because of its strong stench.

A: The biggest problem with eating stinky tofu is the horrid smell. The best way to get rid of the stench is by immediately throwing that shit away, and then slapping yourself for almost eating garbage. The night when I tried it, most of the people in line were either drunk or eating it as a dare. As for the second part of the question, I think the best way to express my disgust is through video — so stay tuned this week for my stinky tofu rant!

Weekly Q&A: Five Ways to Hang With A $20

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This week’s question comes from Yesy A. If you’d like to ask a question, you can find the link here.

Q: What’s the best way to spend $20, but still have an awesome night with friends?

3672322-20-dollar-bill

A: An awesome night with friends for just $20? How about Taco Tuesday night at a midget strip club in Mexico? There are many factors to consider: the area where people live, transportation, social preferences of the individual, etc. So I’ll cover the top five ways to pick up a date in $20:

1) Food: I would go Asian. Vietnamese sandwiches, Taiwanese dumplings, Chinese noodles; even though you’ll gain calories faster than you can say “carbohydrates,” going to any area with a predominantly Asian population will tend to have very cheap, delicious and affordable food. The only drawbacks might be the language barrier and sanitation laws, but hey! Who’s up for an adventure? Check out some of my food reviews to get some ideas.

2) Beverages:  If you’re looking for a little sugar to sweeten up your conversation, some expensive-ass Starbucks will do the trick. I also recommend going to a boba (squishy tapioca ball drink) shop like Tastea, Lollicup, or some “hole-in-the-wall.” Those places tend to be open later (and a littler cheaper too).

3) Entertainment: Dollar theaters. On certain days however, regular theaters will play new movies for a discounted price. I personally love these, and you can find out about them on your smartphone app or that ancient relic called a newspaper. Knowledge is power, especially on a budget.

4) Entertainment #2: Comedy shows. The ones that give free tickets, and usually a two-item food minimum. So technically you’re paying for the show, but that’s where the drawback ends. If you go to a comedy show where good comics are performing, you pretty much get a meal, drinks (depending on what you buy) and about an hour and half to two hours of solid, live comedy.  Oh did I mention I’m also a stand-up comic? You can check out and like my page here: my super awesome page-thing.

5) Random: Gas money. Use those $20 bucks, fill up 1/16th of your gas tank, and go on adventure! To the beach, the aforementioned midget strip club, or just cruising. The best thing right now, during the holidays, is checking out the lights and holiday decorations!

Remember, it’s not as important what you do but who you do. I mean, who you do it with! Money should only enhance the hangout, but not be the crux of it. So what do you think? Have a “hole-in-the-wall” place you’d like to share? Love, hate, or have an addendum for my list?  Let me know in your comments below!

Pool “Sign:” Do Not Use

~ Jay-Ram ~ 1 Comment

I’ve been trying different exercises to lose weight, but I haven’t been swimming much (which is supposed to be low impact and all-around awesome). Also, I’ve always been skeptical about our apartment pool — I see so many people constantly in and out of it — especially kids. So today I thought “Hey man, it’s probably not that gross. Just go early morning, before everyone else.”

So I grab my towel and head to the pool, but the maintenance guy tells me it’s shut down for cleaning.

“So do you guys shut it down weekly for cleaning, or… ?”

“No, we only clean it when the front office tells us to. It’s the first time this year – so many people go in and out of these dirty things.”

You know what, today looks like a good day to go biking anyway. Forever.

“Loaves” of Bombs

~ Jay-Ram ~ 1 Comment

A few days ago, the Syrian government sanctioned a bombing which destroyed a densely crowded bakery. These people weren’t just waiting to purchase dessert either, they were getting food for their families during a military supply cut-off. I find it interesting that the countries geographically closest to the birthplace of Jesus are suffering the most this Christmas holiday. Heck, even Americans become irate when Starbucks runs out of their favorite coffee, let alone being closed down due to a bomb. Perhaps other Starbucks locations would honor their fallen baristas by giving out free lattes.

I couldn’t help but ponder the very essential question: why would anyone bomb a bakery?! Especially when people are trying to feed their families. Some experts believe the bombers simply missed, and that they should be more accurate in acquiring targets. I have some non-expert advice: why not just keep the bombs back at base, and not destroy anything? I can think of a few other places their government can stick their phallic-shaped explosives.

There are many things going on in Syria far beyond my comprehension. Mostly politics. The only thing more bullshit than political agendas are expert opinions about these events. Experts also say that the war will continue until they find a political solution. Well, there’s an oxymoron: political solution. Does such thing as a political solution exist? Especially when their politics are causing the problems? Solving a problem by ignoring the larger one is like wearing a bulletproof vest to prevent getting shot in the open field. If you don’t want to get shot, don’t run into the field. Another expert specifically condemned bombing of bakeries. Well done, college graduate. Most of us regular people condemn the bombing of anything. It might not make us “experts” but it does make us… “logical.”

“Watch” Your Friendship

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Holidays are times of the year when large groups of miserable people purchase overpriced garbage. Stores are filled with waves of degenerates trying to find their perfect gifts: simple inorganic objects to define complex organic friendships. Seems like a daunting task, doesn’t it? Some people manage to do it. Nothing says “I love and greatly appreciate you” quite like an engraved, vibrating toothbrush.

Seems like nowadays, people would rather go into debt than be creative. It’s impressive for us to charge $100 on our credit card to gift a digital photo frame, but less impressive if we create a wooden frame for $5 with a real picture. Isn’t the latter more meaningful and cost-effective? Celebrating holidays have lost their meaning.

We used to celebrate with family. Now we spend time with loved ones.

What a nonsensical euphemism! It doesn’t make sense when people say “spend time.” “Spending” is a verb done with transactions, not loved ones. For example, “I spend money. I spend money on prostitutes with HIV. My family spends money on my funeral.” Americans are proficient in spending, especially money they don’t have. Perhaps a $1.5 trillion deficit and economic depression might be effective to mention here.

And what about “time?” Time is a man-made measurement. It is impossible to have a measurement. We don’t go around saying “I have centimeters.”

“Excuse me Travis, but how much for that bracelet?”

“About 1000 centimeters.”

“Well I only have 800 centimeters Travis. Can you lend me 200 on credit?”

That sounds silly. Don’t be disappointed that you don’t “have” enough time finding that perfect gift. It doesn’t exist. If you spend more time purchasing a gift for someone than you hang out with them, a minute of conversation is worth more than each crystal dial on the perfect watch.

Corporations Don’t Use Condoms

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The only thing more bullshit than watching “Teen Mom” on television, is the commercial that follows it for Durex condoms.

“Teen Mom, sponsored in part by Durex.”

So… you get rewarded with a television show AND money from a contraceptive company for having unprotected sex? What the fuck? Advertisements don’t make sense to me anymore. The other day, a YouTube video gave me the choice to pick a commercial to watch. If I was so inclined to watch a commercial, I would type “Cat Eats Cockatoo with Creme” in the search bar. One of the most annoying advertisement I’ve seen was for a website that provides “creative exercises for your brain.” Creative brain exercises – you know – the shit we’re supposed to do in Kindergarten? This tells us that we’re too busy trying to get kids to finish school faster, and don’t give them that important development time. People often wonder why we lack so much creativity in the United States. Well, that’s what happens when kids are busy having kids, and fucked up parents facilitate this trend out of greed for money and fame.

Corporations will always be more interested in creating assets than free-thinking individuals. And as long as money has it’s power, this problem will only increase. For example, a company will generate at least an extra million dollars for every $1,000 scholarship given to a bright student from poor background. It’s a vicious cycle. A large amount of government revenue comes from heavily taxed middle-class families suffering in part-time jobs that have high turnover rates with no health benefits. You know why they call it a turnover rate? Because the rate at which a company turns you over, and fucks you in the ass with a low paycheck is about every two weeks,

The America dollar is backed by “full faith and credit of the United States.” I have very little faith in people who make “Teen Mom” a number one show. And last time I checked, we’re giving the American population too much credit, considering that the value of the dollar is decreasing with our IQ. This country is so fucked, even Durex can’t offer any protection.