Tag: peace

Friday.

~ Jay-Ram ~ Leave a comment
We’ve finally made it to one of the most sought-after days of the week: Friday. The majority of the week is behind us, and now we can start planning to do some actually fun stuff! Except, this is probably not true for most of us. As the week progressed, the “laundry list” of things to do (including laundry) piled up and now we have a shit-ton of things to catch up on. But still, its not so bad because for at least a couple hours this week, we will have some time for ourselves to sleep in, listen to music, see more of our family, friends, dog, and others we care about.

But, we’ll probably be exhausted and trying to recover from taking the beating of the week. Driving somewhere far might not seem so fun. Staying out late means adding to the sleep-deprivation we already experienced throughout the week. Our bodies are literally in a state of trying to re-establish an equilibrium, except we are only giving it just a few hours to undo the entire wreck of a (minimum) 40-hour work week. And that’s only if we are lucky and not working a salaried job, or coming in on the weekends to spend more time doing work. But at least we made it.

While we were growing up, a family member or some person of authority told us that “life would be hard” and that we had to, in one way or another, “suck it up.” And somewhere along the line, we equated doing things we didn’t want to do as a part of life. But often, the people who say these things live the majority of their life doing things they don’t want. We definitely need to work hard, but what if what we are working towards in not something that we even want for ourselves? What if this whole time, we’ve been subconsciously following the rules of people who, like us, don’t really have life figured out any more than we do?

Are we not as qualified to disagree with them, and make a better quality of life for ourselves? What’s the point of working hard and doing things, when we cant even fully be present with the company of others, see our family often, and go on a trip without being a stressed-out physical wreck?

I hope that as you’ve joined me on this journey this week of breaking down each day, that we had the opportunity to reflect and make sure that we spent some time each day to work towards a way out of this unpleasant cycle, and creating a new one that would at least let us enjoy our lives a little more. I hope that each day that you daydreamed this week, you did a small action that will allow you to achieve those dreams into reality, be it a hiking trip in Hawaii, delicious food-trip in Thailand, building-gawking in Europe, or a spiritual journey through India. In any of those endeavors, I wish us well in our actions, to be that much more peaceful and happier. You can do it, we can do it. Because the next thing we know, Monday will be here again. Let us meet each week as a different person each time. Happy Friday.

Mondays

~ Jay-Ram ~ Leave a comment

Mondays are one of the most interesting days of the week, because people are most aware that they either really hate what they do, or wish they did something else. It is a very polarizing day. But as the week goes on, the feeling eventually subsides into indifference…until maybe Friday, where we enter the weekend and have two days to undo the toxicity of the entire week (if we’re lucky not doing chores and errands on Sunday).

Many of us have different reasons as to how we ended up in our current job/career situation, but that doesn’t mean we need to be a prisoner to the decisions we made when we took this job or career. A college degree isn’t supposed to be a life sentence, and family expectations aren’t supposed to be nails in our coffin. Somewhere along the way, we believed someone else (who probably gave up on their own dreams) that we couldn’t live a successful life and support ourselves and our families if we pursued that which we enjoyed; that we couldn’t “have our cake and eat it too.” Well what if we don’t even fucking like cake?

One of the things we often hear people talking about lately is “good energy” and “positive vibes.” A person that is miserable for most of their day, their week and by extension their life, is frequently doing things that make them unhappy. What we frequently do becomes our frequency, our vibe. Then, the only things we attract are people who are also justifying the miserable lives they live with cliches such as “being an adult,” “a responsible individual” or “realistic.” And we buy into it.

But when we finally decide to change something, we tend to go back to the familiar instead of embracing the unknown career possibilities out there. This “Monday feeling” then becomes a negative stress that takes off years of our life. If we only do things that make us unhappy frequently, we will only connect with people who are also on that same frequency. And on the occasion that we do have a positive moment, it will fizzle out fast because our peace of mind and success are not intentionally created moments but random accidents. Don’t let the most important things in our lives be up to chance.

Advance Through Your Fears

~ Jay-Ram ~ 2 Comments

The constant and often unexpected challenges in our life can be exhausting to deal with. Fortunately, we are sometimes given respite from our struggle by experiencing moments of happiness. This temporary dose of endorphins helps us forget the daily grind and many of life’s deeper problems. There are many ways to achieve this sense of euphoria, but ultimately it can be achieved by two modes of action: retreat or advance from our problems. I would like to suggest “advancing” as a way to create a mental environment in our minds where happiness is more likely to grow. To advance towards the things we fear, by heightening our self-awareness and consciousness, relieves us of the need to get away, to exhaust ourselves from over-analysis, and to waste our time with indecision (retreating).

The way we perceive the world is through our minds, so it is important to cultivate a fertile environment where the seeds of peace and happiness can grow. For a good portion of my life, I thought that the goal of life was to be happy. But then, that belief metamorphosed into the philosophy that happiness isn’t the destination but the way. But something about this belief seemed to lack a balance between eternal optimism and the harshness of reality. I recently heard a piece of advice from @ryannicodemus from The Minimalists that helped me find that balance:

“I stopped chasing happiness once I realized that happiness is a symptom and not the purpose [of a life lived well].”

There are many things outside of our control in life, but the choice to advance towards (or retreat from) our fears is entirely up to us. Peace and happiness are scarce in many peoples’ lives because it is easier to run away, ignore, or justify our problems as a victim. If we handle our life as most other people do, then we too shall live an unremarkable life with unfulfilled dreams similar to those who complain about lack in their finances, love, health (exempt from certain situations) or career. The upside in demonstrating courage is exponentially high: to advance towards our problems, and realize that nothing short of physical death will stop us, allows us to go through them. What we fear, once conquered, transforms into an invigorating energy within us. We have been transformed. The new us can now aim higher and achieve things that our former couldn’t even concieve.

Advance through your fears, advance through your life. Retreat from your fears, retreat from your life.

Jay-Ram is a former Industrial Chemist turned writer who aims to help others use deductive reason and the scientific process to gain deeper insight into people, and create deeper, meaningful relationships between his fellow humans.

Unravel The Unique You

~ Jay-Ram ~ Leave a comment

If we want uncover what makes us unique, then we must do the work that others are unwilling to do: the rigorous task of constant self-actualization. Raising our own self-awareness will deepen our connection with others, and our work will have depth that resonates on a profound level with others.

We can begin self-actualization by defining what we want out of our life. What are we trying to create? A life like [enter person here]? Another Eat Pray Love book? Another painting like Mona Lisa? Another electronic dance music (EDM) hit single? And most importantly, why do we need another one of any of these? Imitation is derivative, but true art is original.

“Marcel Duchamp, also an artist, puts an upside down urinal into an art exhibit in 1917, causes a riot–this is art–Not art, is the second person who puts a urinal in an art museum. They’re a plumber.” – Seth Godin

If it’s already done, an imitation of that particular thing is just a mere copy. The world needs less plumbers, and more artists. People who can uncover and express things from deep within themselves. True artists provide a service to the world much greater than any paycheck can pay. They know the value of what they do, and aren’t controlled by vanity metrics like (excessive) money and fame. Yes, we all need to eat and pay rent–but how much do we really need for that? And is our fear of going broke much more powerful than finding peace and expression within ourselves? Did we enter our career because of the potential wealth? Or was it because we felt a calling from some force within to express a message? Unfortunately, some people are seduced into becoming an “artist” because of fame and fortune. They are not aware how doomed they’ve become by restricting themselves to parameters of money, validation and fame. In the end, the freedom they sought becomes the (gold) bars of their solitary prison. If we want validation, there are easier ways to achieve that. But if we wish to engage in a daily battle with our deepest feelings and insecurities, express our repressed emotions, to turn the abstract into tangible art, then we can begin to make work that matters. Our task is arduous, and great art requires constant awareness of our motivations.

To prevent falling into this trap, we must form a vision of what we want in the long term. If it so happens that money is a primary motivation, our art (and by extension us) will suffer with the volatility of working in a art industry. Anyone who controls our paycheck will control our art, and by extension us. We don’t want this. Many of us chose the lifestyle of creating art and self-expression because we want to experience the freedom of being ourselves. Why would we give that up? Let’s not go back there. We must remember that we are creating lasting art that will live on longer than us. Eventually, we too will return to the stillness of the Earth.

“It is from stillness that all things emerge and to which all things return.” – Lao Tzu

We must teach ourselves to be comfortable with stillness. To create art that transforms a generation, we must be in a constant process of transformation within ourselves. We must seek out experiences that are new and sometimes uncomfortable so that we can create new neural pathways in our brain. And we will see new connections within our life and art as well. There’s very few good reasons to work so hard and endure many difficulties in life just to emulate someone else. We are in the process of creating a first-rate version of ourselves rather than a derivative of anyone (or anything) else. The depth of our art will depend on how deep we can go within ourselves. If we are not comfortable sitting down in silence and going deep, our work will resonate a fearful and superficial tone. We must constantly practice this skill of exploring the parts within ourselves that others fear to dive within themselves.

Most importantly, let’s make sure we are the best versions of ourselves. One of the many rewards of self-actualization will be that our art will be just as vibrant and resonant as our soul. To create unique art, we must be willing to undergo unique experiences within ourselves. You become your art.

This article was originally posted on Medium.

Jay-Ram is a former Industrial Chemist turned writer who aims to help others use deductive reason and the scientific process to gain deeper insight into people, and create deeper, meaningful relationships between his fellow humans.

Travelling with Minimal (Emotional) Luggage

~ Jay-Ram ~ Leave a comment

I’ve learned that packing lightly when travelling is important because carrying too much weight can quickly become exhausting. Travelling can be nerve-wracking if we think about everything that can go wrong: being away from the familiar and transplanting ourselves into new locations and cultures can be stressful. But stressing about the future robs us of our current peace, and carrying the weight of future anxieties will exhaust us today. We should learn to travel with fewer fears in our life, otherwise it will become exhausting for us to carry them into everything we do.