Hello. My name is Jay-Ram (Jay-ROM) and I'm an Indian-American who's been a pharmaceutical chemist and writer for many years. My fascination with science began as a nine year-old watching shows like "Bill-Nye The Science Guy" and "The Magic School Bus." Having a scientifically inclined thinking allows me to unconventional solutions to problems, which allowed me to help friends and colleagues. I believe that the spirit of science is to find truth and help others; as the great scientist and philosopher Carl Sagan once said, “Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality.”
Tuesdays are not an often talked about day. By now, most people have gotten used to the misery of Monday, thinking that it will be easier from here on out. We’ve already endured the classically worst day of the week, and we are one step closer to the weekend. But there are many of us who might pick up a Saturday shift, or, in our current jobs will physically be at work for a minimum of 8 hours. So this way of thinking is fooling ourselves; the weekend is not free time.
It is difficult to persuade someone to free themselves, once they’ve gotten used to the weight of their chains. But these chains can be unshackled at any time, if we realize that what we do isn’t who we are; we are not our work, and our work is not us. But what we do for most of the day determines our temperament for the rest of the day. Maybe we will be used to the grind of our work, and the abusive nature of our managers and coworkers. And when we finally get home at the end of the day, we will be just as tired as we were yesterday.
We will be convinced that we don’t have the energy to put forth an hour or so, of time to start digging ourselves out of this trench to invest in our side business or learning a new skill. But we can do it. Just don’t believe the illusion that everything is okay when it is not. Perhaps some boundaries in our personal life and work have long been demolished by people who benefitted from us not having them; and the best way to reclaim our space again is to create a new identity for ourselves where we love what we do, and, at the very least, we respect ourselves. If we missed Monday, we can still get on the train this Tuesday to a new destination. Every day is an opportunity.
Mondays are one of the most interesting days of the week, because people are most aware that they either really hate what they do, or wish they did something else. It is a very polarizing day. But as the week goes on, the feeling eventually subsides into indifference…until maybe Friday, where we enter the weekend and have two days to undo the toxicity of the entire week (if we’re lucky not doing chores and errands on Sunday).
Many of us have different reasons as to how we ended up in our current job/career situation, but that doesn’t mean we need to be a prisoner to the decisions we made when we took this job or career. A college degree isn’t supposed to be a life sentence, and family expectations aren’t supposed to be nails in our coffin. Somewhere along the way, we believed someone else (who probably gave up on their own dreams) that we couldn’t live a successful life and support ourselves and our families if we pursued that which we enjoyed; that we couldn’t “have our cake and eat it too.” Well what if we don’t even fucking like cake?
One of the things we often hear people talking about lately is “good energy” and “positive vibes.” A person that is miserable for most of their day, their week and by extension their life, is frequently doing things that make them unhappy. What we frequently do becomes our frequency, our vibe. Then, the only things we attract are people who are also justifying the miserable lives they live with cliches such as “being an adult,” “a responsible individual” or “realistic.” And we buy into it.
But when we finally decide to change something, we tend to go back to the familiar instead of embracing the unknown career possibilities out there. This “Monday feeling” then becomes a negative stress that takes off years of our life. If we only do things that make us unhappy frequently, we will only connect with people who are also on that same frequency. And on the occasion that we do have a positive moment, it will fizzle out fast because our peace of mind and success are not intentionally created moments but random accidents. Don’t let the most important things in our lives be up to chance.
It’s not enough telling people to stop doing things. And it’s especially ineffective to criticize the way people do certain things because of the presence of ego. Usually, when we want to change people’s minds, we try to fight them or persuade them. But the first option, like most arguments, serve little to no purpose in changing minds. And the people who are listening to the debate usually look for justification for the way they already think. Persuasion on the other hand can be draining, because we never know how long it will take to change someone else’s mind, or to create habit change that will last indefinitely.
I present us with a third option: to create. Instead of using our valuable time and energy to fight or persuade others, unless it is absolutely necessary, we must redirect it to the one thing we have full control over: ourselves. We can create a community, build relationships with others who are lost in the dust just like us, make art that represents ourselves and learn to communicate our thoughts through better speaking and writing.
When we fight, we are defending the old, the things that are already archaic. There is nothing new to be found in the past. On the other hand, persuasion requires using the knowledge we already know, meaning that we have to feel that our way of thinking is superior to the other, so that they need to be persuaded. This is already a losing strategy against the ego of the other.
But to create is to be present, to use the energy we would otherwise use to defend established rules, traditions and systems in order to advance forward and create new support groups and communities in which new ideas can thrive.
One example I can think of is Bill Nye. Growing up, watching his shows was something that helped me feel like I have a place in the world; that there is a place for the fringe wandering individuals, the weird and the quirky personalities. It influenced my decision to pursue a degree in chemistry and eventually become a chemist. And I was more than excited when after many years, he made a return to the screen to help the cause of global warming and making science “cool again.”
When I see him now (especially when I chance to see him in person) all I see is an angry person who is (rightfully) angry at raising climate change awareness. I would like say that people change, but in reality, it’s people NOT changing and adapting that causes the problems that recur from the past. People are not creating enough, expressing enough and sharing ideas enough. Science was fucked the moment people started entering the field it for the paycheck rather than wondering how often they can be wrong about things through experiment.
Science has lacked the spirituality of creation for many years. The people who created original work, the Tesla, the Einstein, the Schroedinger, the Edison weren’t afraid to be wrong, and were actually wrong often before coming up with something novel and groundbreaking. And even then, ideas were stolen all the time. But, this didn’t really deter them, because it was less about (well-deserved) recognition, and more about constant learning. To create requires generous humility and courage, and this is the best option we have if we really want to start making some changes in the world: with us, with you and our creations.
When you say that you need to go find yourself, does that mean that you feel lost?
Did you find something that you would rather do instead?
A break is always nice, especially after working really hard. But taking a break with the intention of finding oneself is like trying to go fishing with the intention of catching a fish. At first, it may seem like “well why else would you go fishing if you don’t intend to catch fish?” Perhaps it is not so important what we do, rather than why we do it. Some people might want to spend time with their sons, or perhaps they would just like an excuse to be out on the boat. And what if you don’t catch any fish; would you deem the entire trip a loss? Being goal oriented is great, but we should always remember that, like Bruce Lee said, a goal is merely something to aim at.
If you take a break, then take a break. But going out with the intention of finding yourself is putting the same pressure on yourself that is making you take the break in the first place! There is no ideal version of you except for the version that you are right now. We are made to learn, mold and adapt. Whether we do it intentionally or have the universe do it for us, we are always under a constant state of change. There is no need to run away from yourself to find yourself. You are enough.
Fear is like a virus that is passed down from generation to generation. And unfortunately, the only people who have the strength to overcome it are the ones who suffer the most.
Think of war, particularly our white blood cells that attack foreign objects coming into our bloodstream. When we get sick, it is an immunological response to something foreign that may kill us. Our body temperatures will rise, we may vomit frequently and just feel like total hell–but if the body didn’t have the capability to fight, we would just be dead. Pain then, is actually a way for the things we can’t see, to tell us that the smaller forces are doing their job.
As Jiddu Krishnamurti once stated, fear is a result of thought and time. The more we think about something that has happened, or of what might happen, the more fearful we become. Many of our parents, peers and coworkers have built a life based on the blueprint of someone else; and yet they are surprised when their decisions don’t allow them happiness. This is where the fear begins, because memories of failure are compounded over time with the pain they cause.
Seldom in our lives, are the comments that are made about us, actually about us. If you’re not good at something now, you can get better. If you have flaws that bother others, you can always work on them–no one is without them. But most importantly, if you didn’t have what it takes to win, you wouldn’t be suffering right now. Because suffering (in the positive light) is a bitch of a blessing for living.
Fear is an illlusion that can feel very real–but seeing it for what it is can help us fight its grip on us. We can never give up fighting it. If we give up and let it have a chokehold on our neck, we feel like we cannot breathe. This is when the darkness begins to intensify, and we enter the bottomless well of depression. But just like any other feeling, fear originates from the mind–and anything that we can concieve is never greater than the creator: ourselves. Fear gets its power from failures from our past, and anxieties from our un-formed future. The truth is that we are no longer the same person from before, or this imaginary person from the future. We are we who are, today and now. Failures and successes are only a part of the entirety of us. By being in the present moment, we begin to take away the sources of power of fear; it is from this moment that anything is possible and fear is weakest. So why place our energy elsewhere? Be here, be present and be freed.
“The door is there, and the key in your hand.” — Jiddu Krishnamurti
When we doubt ourselves, we doubt the universe from which we are manifested. And the universe makes no mistakes. If we doubt its ability to produce a path for us, we won’t take steps forward to pursue our goals. If we doubt its ability to solve obstacles in our path, we won’t be able to see that the “obstacle eventually becomes the way.”
Our best thinking brought us to where we are today. If it’s not where we want to be, we need to think differently. There is always much more to learn, and learning is thriving. If we grow comfortable with the way we think, we eventually seek out those who validate us rather than challenge us and our narrow way of thinking. We trap ourselves to a certain fate. But if we knew we were trapped, wouldn’t we want to search for the way out if we had even a little chance of finding it? As Jiddu Krishnamurti once stated, “The door is there and the key is in your hand.” With knowing where the key is, we just need the demonstrate the courage to deal with the unknown outside the prison walls of our familiar thinking. If we fear what is out there, we are no better off than being voluntary prisoners. But what is there to fear really, when the universe outside our reality are also a part of us? There is nothing that is truly foreign to us, because just as we were manifested, so was everything else around us by the universe. The more unknowns we are willing to accept, the freer we become. And then, we can realize our true nature and the connection of the universe.
The minds of different people see the world differently. Some people can have minds that process a lot of information like a powerful V8 engine. And others may have a 4-cylinder that is more than enough power to sustain analytical productivity. Do you know what type of mind you have, and is it suited for success in what you’re doing?
More powerful doesn’t necessarily mean better. Often times, people with overactive minds tend to process a lot more information than others. This doesn’t mean they are better or more intelligent, but rather that they are better suited for making connections between things. For artistic minds, if all of the cylinders are not fired to accomplish a large, complicated task, the leftover energy gets transferred into boredom, self-analysis, and creation of falsehoods about ourselves. An artistic mind needs a more challenging path in the form of complex problems.
Every path we take in our lives has its own challenges, so it’s important to use the right tool for the right job.It doesn’t matter how powerful of a car you have, a 500+ horsepower engine driven into the ocean is a massive failure. In this instance, even a rowboat is more efficient than drowned car. From childhood, we start learning societal social norms and are expected to follow the paved path/freeway that is often: work your 9-5, raise a family, be amiable, retire, travel. There is nothing wrong with this path, but if the thought of this makes us uncomfortable then we are not meant for that life. Unfortunately, the majority of people today have falsely convinced themselves that this is the most secure path for them in life. But people that are not meant to belong in the corporate machine are adding more misery to an already overpopulated demographic. People have become so accustomed to travelling on this “normal” path, they forget to exit to refuel, to go fishing, to smell the roses, to go off-roading, to go camping. They forget why they were ever on this path or freeway in the first place. The V8’s are wasting way too much fuel idling in traffic, whereas they’re meant to go off-roading or something with that power elsewhere. People feel restless from having unused energy because their engine doesn’t match their road. They need to exit. Weneed to exit.
But not everyone needs to exit, because some are on a path that gives them true happiness. Just like how creatives are happy doing deep work, analytically-minded people cringe at the thought of processing so much data. What seems crazy to them, is easy for the V8 mind. And what V8 mind finds difficult (marketing, hitting deadlines, etc.) is where this mind is expert. Everything and everyone has their place in this interdependent web. The Analytical V4 is an efficient engine that gets shit done. Every bit of energy has a task or purpose, unlike the V8 mind that constantly needs direction and information. These V4 people are better suited for being goal-oriented and being to the point. Unlike the rowdy, boisterous artistic mind that thinks laterally from concept-to-concept to make connections, the analytical V4 thinks vertically in steps, from task to task. The analytical minds know their purpose. The artistic minds are conquering uncharted territory. They both need each other because the analytical minds are the ones that help the artistic minds realize their goals into reality. If Shakespeare was a V8, the entire cast of people, set design, lighting, etc. were the V4’s that helped realize his dream and plays. And each person was happy doing what they did (or so one would hope).
We both need each other to make movement happen, like Yin and Yang. The kind of engine or brain that we have isn’t an indication of our worth or ability. Each brain requires a different level of maintenance, and a different path to conquer. We shouldn’t be comparing abilities in the first place, but rather, how we can better help each other, and by extension ourselves by practicing self awareness. Success is different for everyone. Each person requires their own type of care and fuel: the care is meaningful relationships and the fuel is gratitude. Instead of being convinced by others to stay the course on the beaten path, let’s recognize the power of our engines and drive accordingly.
Jay-Ram is a former Industrial Chemist turned writer who aims to help others use deductive reason and the scientific process to gain deeper insight into people, and create deeper, meaningful relationships between his fellow humans.
You and I are all as much continuous with the physical universe as a wave is continuous with the ocean. — Alan Watts
You are enough, because you are actually many. Whenever we feel alone in our journey, exhausted and ready to give up, open your palms and look deep within to the core DNA of every cell. There, you will find the genetic memory of all of your ancestors who have succeeded. Let their energy carry you through the trials of your life, as their successes have carried them through theirs.
And when you shake the hand of another or embrace them, feel the universe within them and know that they too are on the journey of navigating the cosmos within themselves. The same spirit — The Tao, In Lak’ech, The Logos, Brahman — that resides within you, flows through them as well.
The different names for the energy that both encompass us and flow through us are like individual waves in the same cosmic ocean. The rise in the interest of spirituality during our current generation is no coincidence. If or when the next revolution will happen, it won’t be as much as tearing town physical walls as it will be for spiritual ones. The names of the deities and holy men may be lost to history, but the feelings and connections with people will always remain. Who was the greatest Shaman or Holy Man a billion years ago? How about more recent, say 10th millennium — 8,000 BC to 6,000 BC — ? It’s hard to say, but I’m sure people interacted with each other then, how we interact with each other today. Names may be lost to history, but our feelings and memories reside within us from long ago.
What our ancestors sought may not be much different than what we seek today. The human desire for connection is more prevalent than ever before, and perhaps one of the reasons why social media is so prevalent today: to facilitate creation of communities, and help people like ourselves find our tribe members. During a time where India, Rome, Latin America, China, etc. thought that they were the entire world because of geographical isolation, it was the need to connect and know about the existence of others like them that drove each empire to fund expeditions. What other motivation could be powerful enough to drive someone from the comfort of their homes, for months into rough seas?
Unfortunately, we now know how modern civilizations did a really poor job assimilating into indigenous cultures; usually ending up colonizing or enslaving them for the name of their God, profit and/or country. But it was ultimately their identities and the division of us/them that caused many of the complex problems associated with cultural ignorance. In our overall global culture today, is it a coincidence that the more scientific-minded we become, the more access we have to history, the more people seek connection with culturally different groups of other people? There may be some proof in how strong our ancestors’ desire to connect with each other was, because it seems like we are learning and more accepting of different cultures than ever before. We are beginning to see the soul of each other’s humanity.
There is much that we don’t know, nor ever will. But it doesn’t seem like life asks us much more than to do the best with what we know. What has happened before, will happen again, and will continue happening because of our vast ignorance. But during our lifetime on this planet, when we are able to see the first picture ever of a black hole in space, maybe we can dive deeper into the universe, within ourselves, and connect with the spirits of those who still continue to seek through us. We are them, they are us, but they and we are one energy, like ripples in one cosmic ocean.
Jay-Ram is a former Industrial Chemist turned writer who aims to help others use deductive reason and the scientific process to gain deeper insight into people, and create deeper, meaningful relationships between his fellow humans.
Do you feel defeated? So what if you failed at trying something new? You tried something new, learned something new. We learn to have faith in our wings by spreading them. By stirring wind beneath them, they carry us towards our goals. We cannot learn to fly if we’re constantly afraid of failing and falling. The more confidence we have in the strength of our wings, the less worried we become about falling.
Jay-Ram 